Observation: "Nice to meet you. And what do you do?"

One big difference about DC/USA and Australia/NZ (they're very different countries but they both ascribe to the social norm mentioned here) is that when you "go out" in any form and meet someone, in the USA, they will ask you 1) Where are you from?, and 2) What do you do?. There are minor variations on this. At my university, students, upon meeting each other, ask 1) What year are you? (as in, what is your graduation year), and 2) What is your major?, and a possible 3) What activities do you do?.

Regardless of the precise question, I would emphatically agree that "What do you do?" is one of the first five questions that you ask someone when you are getting to know them in a casual, mixed-group social setting like a bar, at a group gathering, in the common area or the shared-room of your "youth hostel"...

In the lands down under (as the Men At Work like to call it), we find just the opposite. I would hold my breath whenever first meeting someone, fearing that in the first 5 minutes I would have to announce to them that I am an unemployed American who just graduated from University (a year ago) and I am traveling around. Not only do I lack real world job skills, but I also did not spend 6 years working hard to make enough money to go on this 6 month backpackers-style trip of my dreams. Though mine was only 3 months, because 1) we bloody Americans work too hard at home, and 2) don't have the same Queen so can't stay in the country as long with a basic visa. Aussies and Kiwis do NOT ask you what you do [for a living]. This is not just an avoidance tactic among so-called backpackers, many of whom do not want to remember what they "do," if they "do" anything other than pack and repack their clothes and toiletries into their large, hiker-style backpack every couple of days and move around from town to town by bus or cheap used car. Maybe by the time they're full-blown adults they might have the desire to ask me what I do, but even when I met individuals well outside of the tourist or backpacker circuit, they rarely asked me that question. Occasionally, I found myself answering some question with "I just graduated from Uni" and then would often follow that up with what I had studied in Uni[versity]. However, as long as I could act as if I worked and made a living of some sort, they did not care to know how I earned my keep.

I would venture to assert that they are less concerned by what someone does in life (and the subsequent assumptions about their education or how much money they make), and more concerned by who they are as a person. That does not surprise me, of course, as one of my other observations is that Americans are much more proactive and driven and ambitious than our friends Down Under, who seem to have lower stress levels, more family time, more recreational time, fewer migraines, and fewer common colds.

I soon learned that I did not have to hold my breath and await that question. I also had to rapidly develop more social skills! When you first meet someone, what else can you talk to them about that might interest them, other than their job??? What else could they possibly do with their time other than work? There isn't much other time, right? No. I quickly learned how to get to know someone without asking them about what they "do" and then building conversation upon that. "Did you grow up in this area?" was one I came to love--perhaps a bit invasive, but also lets the person tell me if they immigrated to this part of the country, and if they immigrated from abroad, I could then ask them about the moving and visa process and their experience. I found out about neat movies and books that people had just encountered. I talked politics, and I was convinced by non-Americans that Americans might actually vote for a woman so long as we don't psyche ourselves out when we step into the voting-booth (which, if we WANT to vote for Hillary, we should not be afraid to do so). I informed the rest of the world that Americans only get 2 weeks off per year, compared to the 4 or 6 weeks that most other countries in the world allot their employees--and therefore explained why Americans often appear rushed, stressed, fake, and not-mentally-present when one encounters them on their brief trips Down Under. And finally, I learned what actually interests someone as a human being. What makes you happy? Are you incredibly close to your Grandmother? Is listening to her stories and talking with her one of your favorite pastimes? Are you considering a new moral perspective on life? Do you love meat pies? Are you addicted to Toffee Pops? Did you grow up on a ranch with a passion for horses? Have you been hiking on any of the Great Walks? Do you like to listen to local folk music? Is your dog, Cecil, your favorite thing in the world?

Last night, someone said to me "I'm sorry, I didn't catch what you do?" "Oh I'm unemployed!" I said, quite cheerfully, because frankly I am quite proud of the fact that I don't have to get up and go to work like these Capitol Hill slaves do. He gave me a momentary look as if that is unacceptable. Of course, even Down Under, many locals gave me a slightly worried look, but I have the impression that theirs is one of sympathy rather than disgust. "A job will come your way soon," their eyes seemed to say, "just keep trying and things will work out." Of course there are many euphemisms for my current state: in transition, exploring my options, pursuing my dreams, taking time off.

But perhaps next time I should answer this dreaded, terrible question with something more thought provoking: "laugh at your ass because I don't have to wear that suit every day" (that one may not go over so well), "during the week I do productive things during the day and relax in the evenings, and on the weekends I like to spend time outside" (that leaves much to the imagination yet still honestly includes that I spend my days cleaning out piles of academic papers and saved items from high school and college), or the only somewhat rude (and only because society has taught us so) "I prefer not to talk about what I do; what do you like to do with your free time?"

I for one am on a quest to make money doing something that I enjoy at least 50% of the time. I think this is a reasonable goal and that having some difficult, less thrilling things in life make the good times better, yet even I would not want to discuss what I do at work with every person that I meet. Perhaps a connection could be made (and I'm all for networking in my outdated-resume state), but god-forbid we relate to each other in another way. Next time I meet someone in an American bar, at an American gathering, or (!) in an American hostel, I will be sure to ask them "what do you love to do?" and if I'm lucky, maybe they'll tell me about their job.