QuickPost-Sunday, November 7, 2010

"The thing about women is we change everything we can, except for the thing we need to." -N.

When we consider the changes we invite into our lives, are we always avoiding something? Someones the perceived risk is great than the actual risk, and we just need to jump. I encounter this in the backcountry regularly. Jumping across from one rock to another with a modestly deep chasm is scary, but often times the step is smaller than my regular gait. Repelling down a canyoneering route for the first time a couple weeks ago, I told my brain from the very beginning that I had already committed, and once the safety was checked by myself and my coworker, there wasn't anything else we might realize along the way, and so I just had to step in to "the zone" (and stay there, not freak out!).

Swimming is the best example. Why do we close to dive in to the pool all the time as kids? Is it only because we can see the bottom? Adults tend to wade in rather than dive. Have we learned something about the pool that makes us wade, even after we've gotten used to the water temperature? No, we just have learned in life that treading cautiously can be an advantage. But I'm not sure sure it's a "lesson"--I think it is an acclimation of the brain, and everything we can do to challenge ourselves is beneficial. RSI (rigorous self improvement).

Of course, as a woman, I am clearly avoiding something. One fear is increased self-awareness. Stable friendships and personal comforts and ease of geography is something I haven't had since I left my parents house in 2002. And before that I was a teenager, and nothing felt reliable. My next RSI will be to pick something that gives me the experience of repetition, redundancy, time, and stability, because I bet the perceived risk is less than the actual risk.